Episcopal Diocese of Albany - Christian Education

Business Office: 68 South Swan Street - Albany, NY 12210 - (518) 465-4737
Christ the King Spiritual Life Center: 575 Burton Road - Greenwich, NY 12834 - (518) 692-9550

Reclaiming the Family

by Deacon Laurie M. Garramone-Rohr, Christian Ed Coordinator
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Facts:
*Fathers are working longer hours.
*More women are working outside the home.
*Single parent families have increased dramatically.
*Peer group influence is replacing parental influence in the lives of teens.

Last year, Holly Schubert (Youth Pastor at Calvary, Burnt Hills) and I sat down to look at youth programming for the upcoming year. In our discussion, we both came to the same conclusion: we needed new programming for families. The typical family schedule is crammed full with sports, school, jobs and pressure. Many families do not eat meals together, or they eat while watching television. Often, video games and portable CD players fill the 'extra' time in kids' lives. Holly and I wanted to know what we could do as a church to help bring families into communion with each other and God.

We began to schedule Family Ministry opportunities once or twice a month to encourage families to pray together, have fun together, serve together, and learn together. It seemed to meet a clear need in our congregation. We also encouraged any version of 'family' to attend--single parent, grandparent/grandchild, aunt and nephew, and blended families. We even had some older parishioners come on their own who were 'adopted' by families to participate in activities or discussions. Something seemed so right and blessed about these activities. Kids and parents worked together with focus and love, or maybe they simply ate a meal together and had fun.

Our first activity was a Family Shield-Making workshop. We began with a potluck lunch, and then we explained the meaning of our diocesan and Episcopal shields. We provided each family group with poster board, markers and symbols of heraldry to use, and we asked them to create a family Coat of Arms, or shield, that described who they were and what was important to them. I still remember the pride each family had when they stood before the group and described their shield to us. I also remember the very broken family who incorporated real sadness into their shield, and then had the courage to tell us about it. And I still have the shield my family and I made that had symbols about wisdom, courage and God.

Other activities were fun, and simply encouraged kids and their parents to do something new together, like pottery-painting or a night-time corn maze in the fall. (Ask me about pretzel-dipping sometime!!) These often began and ended with prayer, but were primarily social. At times we also structured activities for younger kids and their parents, such as service projects, to be sure that all families were able to participate. We had a great All Saints Day parade last year, and this year, since Halloween falls on a Sunday, we're hoping to have a party with some adults in costume as well.

I hesitate to describe this as 'successful' programming, because it was so much better than that. It seemed right and good and holy. It felt like "Whole Ministry" because we were able to include everyone in the church in our plans, if they chose. It wasn't boring or academic, and I think God was able to make His point: whatever your family looks like, these are the people God gave to you; you are the person God gave to your family. What are the special gifts, talents and quirks that make you who you are? What makes your family unique or challenging or special? Where do we see God in the faces and actions of people in our families? How can our churches help us discover the blessing and mission of our own family?

I feel that this is the most important programming I've stumbled into. As a mother, wife and servant, I can see how hard we have to push against our current culture to reclaim the blessing of family. We all have lots of separate activities to fill our lives, but how can we make time for each other and for God at the same time? Providing Family Ministry opportunities is one good answer, and I encourage all of you to plan one or two events this year at your church.

In addition, I will be printing a booklet to help you plan a year of Family Ministry activities in your parish; look for this in September 2004, and feel free to call and schedule a parish visit if you'd like to learn more about how to create a church that isn't just family friendly, but a church that supports, celebrates and recognizes the importance of all families.

"In my childhood, my faith was formed as much around the dinner table as it was in the pew." Mark DeVries, Preacher's kid and author of "Family-Based Youth Ministry".

"If you want to have children who pray, you need to let them see you pray." Fr. John L. Scott, Rector, Calvary Church, Burnt Hills

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